If most relationships feel draining to you, it’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’re not “good” at relationships. (Or that everyone is horrible.)
It might just mean you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.
Been. There. And we still get there.
When we reduce ourselves and our relationships down to what we do, what we say, what we know, we tend to disregard the largest part of ourselves — our being. We’re taught to do all the right things like it’s some kind of formula for connection but, in truth, all the right things in the world can’t compare to the one relational tool we’re all born with…
We are more than the sum of our abilities, ideas, experiences, or even beliefs. Our presence in the world - in each others’ lives - is so much bigger and more eternal than our agreement. It’s more than our material, intellectual or moral contributions.
Who hasn’t felt the powerful relief of being in nature or interacting with children or animals who aren’t consumed with themselves? It is a beautiful thing to observe life all around us - and just relish what IS - without all the striving and contriving.
How would our inner lives and our relationships be transformed if we could focus on the entirety of one another’s existence?! Hint: our homes, communities and international landscape would take on an entirely different culture that isn’t performance-based but rather steeped in the deep interdependence that trust requires. THAT kind of atmosphere is far more transformational than rewarding conformity to meet our comfort level.
If we have even one tiny ounce of belief that we are each created with divine purpose, the most powerful way we can prove our value as humans is to learn to just BE. Together. It is a powerful relief when you’re able to get a glimpse of the importance of your being apart from your doing.
This week’s challenge is to find ways to look beyond one another’s behaviors, experiences, assumptions, or place in life, and recognize the innate value in simply holding space for another to be our honest selves.
What a gift it is when someone recognizes your innate value because YOU ARE HUMAN. And that is an equally powerful gift for you to give someone else.
We have to think differently in order to trust LOVE enough to put away our agenda for one another and embrace one another’s essence — the “otherness” in each of us that makes us unlike anyone who has ever existed.
We’re all just here — together — out of no choice of our own. We’re in each other’s lives because we’re wired for relationship.
We don’t get to choose where we were born or what experiences we’re exposed to as we grow. But every single one of us comes armed with the one and only thing we need for connection — our presence.
Be YOU. Be THERE. Be LOVE. And Be LOVED.
That’s what this week’s Love Better Challenge is all about. Take one minute and begin NOW.